HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD RELEASE ANGER IN A SAFE WAY

Anger can be difficult for both children and adults. Shouting, throwing objects, hitting or crying intensely often leave parents feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to respond. However, it is important to remember one thing:

Anger itself is not the problem.

The real challenge is when a child has no safe or healthy way to express it.

One of the simplest and surprisingly effective emotional regulation techniques is something many of us already have at home—crumpling newspaper or scrap paper.

WHY DO CHILDREN NEED TO RELEASE ANGER?

Anger is a physical emotion as much as an emotional one.

When children become angry, their muscles tense, their breathing becomes faster and their nervous system becomes highly activated.

Simply saying:

“Calm down.”

“Stop being angry.”

or

“That’s enough.”

doesn’t make that physical tension disappear.

Instead, children need safe movement and physical activity that allows the emotion to move through their body rather than becoming trapped inside.

THE NEWSPAPER CRUMPLING TECHNIQUE

This is a simple emotional regulation exercise that can be used at home, at school or during therapy sessions.

How to do it

Give your child several sheets of newspaper or scrap paper.

Encourage them to:

• crumple it tightly,
• tear it into pieces,
• squeeze it with both hands,
• roll it into balls,
• throw the paper balls safely into a basket or against a wall.

The activity can be done quietly or while encouraging slow, deep breathing.

There is no need to analyse the emotion during the exercise.

WHAT SHOULD ADULTS DO?

While your child is releasing their emotions:

• avoid correcting them,
• avoid criticising,
• don’t repeatedly tell them to “calm down”,
• never shame them for feeling angry.

Your role is to create a safe space—not to control the emotion itself.

You might simply say:

“I can see there’s a lot of anger inside you right now. It’s okay to let it out safely here.”

Feeling understood often helps children calm down more effectively than being told to stop.

WHY DOES THIS WORK?

Crumpling paper helps children:

• release physical muscle tension,
• express anger safely without hurting themselves or others,
• regain a sense of control,
• calm their nervous system,
• naturally settle once the emotional intensity has passed.

For many children, this may be the first time they learn that anger is something that can be expressed safely rather than punished or ignored.

A FINAL THOUGHT

Anger doesn’t have to damage relationships or lead to punishment.

When children are given healthy ways to release strong emotions, they learn that feelings are not dangerous—they are manageable.

Sometimes something as simple as a few sheets of paper can become a powerful emotional regulation tool, helping children build healthier coping skills that will benefit them throughout life.